Adonai Ashamnu

I have a scene from this morning turning over in my mind. It is a "thought in progress" so I'll make no claims to tidy this post into a 3 point message, but I have to share it. Today after class, I went back down to the Kotel (Western Wall), just to see and hear what was going on. There was much activity, of course, since the holiday that began last night continues through the day. Over the years, Rosh Hashanah has morphed into a two day holiday, so the trumpeting (which we heard both from the playground near our house and from my study in our apartment--how cool is that!) will continue tomorrow as well. Anyway, back to the Kotel: while I was there, I wandered through the plaza and into the area that is treated like a synagogue, as I have done before. There, presumably leading the group he was with, was an older man, blasting out long and then broken notes on a shofar (ram's horn trumpet). It is said that the sound of the shofar during Rosh Hashanah is a call to confession. This I know. I have taught this many times. Nevertheless, I was unprepared for what happened next. The old man, after taking the shofar from his lips began saying in a loud voice, over and over, two words: "Adonai, ashamnu!" If my hearing is right and my translation is right, this means, "Lord, we have sinned!" As he said these words, he began weeping loudly in what I believe were genuine tears, and he kept repeating, "Adonai, ashamnu!" Upon reflection, two things in particular struck me. The second thing was the use of 1st person plural, entailing the responsibility of the community. The first and foremost thing that struck me (and is still on the forefront of my mind) was the position of his heart. I don't think we're talking about guilt here--that's different and, I believe, unhealthy. "Deeply contrite" is the phrase I think I would use. There are things that break the heart of God, and our sin is one of them. The question I walked away with is: "When was the last time I was that upset about my sin?" Yes, we're forgiven, but when I read passages like Psalm 51, it is apparent that a contrite heart is important. I know this is an incomplete thought, but I invite you into the wrestling that is a part of daily life here.

Also, if you're curious, there is a webcam at the Western Wall, and you can see it here.